Fucked up

I love knowing stuff that other people don't. In this case, though, it's more of a curse. I'm out having drinks for my boss' last day. The problem is nobody knows it's her last day.  She was laid off and nobody knows yet. Fucking awesome.

They're making more cuts. Of course the first to go is the one that makes the place run somewhat smoothly. My faith in the company is shaken. On the bright side my project finally goes live Monday. This week was fine until today.

I'll post a link to my app on Monday

Seeing somebody die

I had the most fucked up dream I've EVER had last night. Only once have I felt emotion so strong in a dream and it was horrific.

Last night I went to sleep and I don't remember much about the bulk of my dreams except for the fact that I know I had more than one but only one sticks out in my mind. I'm in what appears to be a mall, in a store. In this store is my boss and with her are her husband and my old boss (we all work together). Suddenly we see the sewers (in the middle of the main hallway of this mall as if it were a street) start to explode upwards with a rush of water and a fireball engulfing the column of water. One by one they do this down the "street". It seems that in this dream my boss' husband is a firefighter and he's going to go rush off to solve this problem. We tell him a few times that he needn't worry (odd), possibly because nobody's hurt or walking there...and it's a dream so stuff doesn't make sense. Around the 3rd-4th explosion it reaches a central section, kind of like an intersection. This intersection simply explodes and collapses. Now we have a problem.

Water starts gushing out onto the "street" in all directions. It seems that this "street" is on the 3rd floor of this "mall" though. There are 2 girls at the edge of the street when the water starts gushing and it starts to cover one of the girls and push her. After a few tense moments it seems she's ok...but the other girl jumps for some reason. I quickly take off a layer of clothing, my jacket I think, and jump after her but land only one floor down. I'm sure she went further. I run around to the side she was on when she jumped and hurdle a wall that appears lead down another floor. At the top of this wall I realize it's a fountain. It's shallow. I look to my right and see the little girl crushed. She landed in this shallow fountain. Her mother comes running behind me a few moments later and scoops up her dead child. I'm in shock. Somebody yells to get her camera. She had a camera around her neck when she jumped. For some reason getting the camera seemed important. I run to get the camera and see it's completely smashed in but not shattered. This camera was symbolic of the girl and her state. My boss comes up behind me to give me a hug. I run and curl up in a corner facing the wall as I hold the camera, whimpering. I wake up whimpering. I've never felt so much loss.

Music - part one of many (and a job offer too!)

I'll most likely keep you guys informed as to music I hear that I like. I like music and it plays a big part in my day so you'll most likely see these posts every now and then. The artist I discovered last night while on youtube was Maria Mena. She has the most amazing voice and she's beautiful to boot. I'll try to embed the video below (the video says embedding was disabled by request and won't give you the code so I'm playing around with it :-D)

apparently that didn't work...so just click here to see it. It seems they really did disable embedding, it's not that they don't show you the code and hope you're too dumb to figure it out. Anyway, she has a simply amazing voice.

EDIT:
I was at work today when I checked my email and saw a linked-in message. Normally I ignore these because they're recruiters and they annoy me. This one was different, though. It was from the NY Times. They're seeing if I'm interested in a position as a Senior Developer. This sort of scares me. I've never understood the divide between Junior and Senior level anything. It seems purely subjective to me. Also I've only been at the company for a year at this point so it leads me to doubt whether I'm qualified for a Senior level position. I have no way of finding out unless I ask though so I responded and I'm hoping to hear back.

Attention Whore

The title suggests anger at someone...not so. It's about me! I realized today that I was feeling particularly camera whorish, which is completely unlike me. I hate the way I turn out in pictures most of the time. Today, however, I was taking a shower and I got out and figured "why don't I take a few 'fresh out of the shower' pictures?", and so it began. No, there are no nudes :-P. I may post them sooner or later once I decide if it was a good idea or not. Figured I'd tell you about my incredibly random train of thought though. Again, this was completely unlike me.

A Night on the Town

I went into the city last night with some friends from work. We had fun. I don't dance but I managed to not look like a complete fool so I guess that's good. I ended up being the designated driver. I had the least to drink. I have NO idea how to navigate the city. The city confuses the hell out of me. Luckily we had a GPS system built into the car (which I had to learn how to use on the fly since it wasn't my car). I was going to drive them all home but Mike seemed to be feeling a lot better by the time we got back into NJ. He said he'd take it from there so we got my car and I headed home.

Mike is a very quiet, reserved guy. The man can dance! I'm beyond horrible. I enjoyed myself even though clubs aren't my thing. He must've thought I wasn't having fun because I wasn't moving much at first but, sadly enough, that's just the way I am. He wants to go out next weekend too but I don't think I'm up for it. Maybe in a few weeks.

Non-descript Update

I haven't had much happen in the past few days. Obviously America's first black president but that has more of a historical significance to me than a personal significance. I honestly didn't like one candidate more than the other. I could've gone either way on the issue.

I'm feeling kinda crappy and have been for the past week or so. I'm going into the city this weekend with a few friends from work. Could be fun, should be. I recently discovered a kickass band thanks to thejoefrom1993. I like their whole album "Wall of people". The band is "Monty Are I". Their whole album is full of passion and every song is different in terms of its sound and sometimes even its genre. The guitar and drum work is amazing and the lyrics and vocals are just as good.

That's about all that's currently going on my life I guess. Oh, I just saw today that my youtube video has 59 views and a 5 star rating (with one rating). Pretty cool.

Dumb People - They're Everywhere

I can't escape them, I swear. They follow me wherever I go. I had a brunch-like thing with my parents downstairs and we got into an "Palin is dumb" conversation and we just kept making fun of her. If I have to choose the lesser of two evils, I'll choose Obama. Now here comes the fun part. My stepfather mentions that McCain looks like a midget and does a little impression of McCain never bringing his arms up past his elbows. I got slightly annoyed. The guy is old, he was a POW for years and I'm sure it's left physical scars and impairments of some sort so to make fun of the guy just isn't right, not physically anyway.

I say all of this to them and they fire back with "We're prisoners of the Bush regime!" and I respond saying "I don't know about you but I'm not in a prisoner camp being physically tortured". Their response is "We might as well be! This is worse!".

I walked away. I think I ate for 5 minutes total before I walked away from them. At least I'm not hungry anymore, but I'm definitely not satisfied. I might go out and get some food.

I like arguments and the back-and-forth of a good debate. I hate stupidity and arguments that aren't thought through and baseless points. Just because words are coming out of your mouth doesn't mean you're conversing. A speak and spell may not have a mouth but it can speak words (who remembers the speak and spell? :-D) and that's what I'm equating people to that simply vomit words as if to keep the flow going. I would enjoy far more if you paused and thought and broke the flow than you verbally defecating in order to "argue your point".