Just an Update

Hey guys. I just figured I'd update and tell you what's been going on. I stayed at my uncle's until Monday morning and I drove about an hour and a half to work. I'm working from home tomorrow because my car will be getting new tires. It's actually been scaring me recently because it's started vibrating at highway speeds. I think it's mainly to do with the tires but I can't explain how or why, it just feels as if I'm driving around with snow in my rims causing the wheels to be unbalanced (no, it hasn't snowed here in weeks) but sometimes it just stops.

I'm working on a site redesign at work. They want a "simple color swap" but it's never that simple. Measurements change for different elements causing me to redo portions of the site. That and the site is horribly coded anyway. I keep fixing the bad code and it's slowing me down. At this point I think I have 3 weeks left. Not a lot of time, though luckily the largest portion is done, it's just the minutia that kill me. All the little things you miss here and there get incredibly annoying. All-in-all it looks good though and it's coded far better than it was before.

Everybody makes jokes about the company going under, firing more people, looking forward to getting fired themselves. I'm one of those people. I've been coming home and finding it ridiculously hard to even get on my computer anymore. I don't want to code at home because I'm just so mentally drained. I don't want to be there -- nobody does, not even my boss. At least if I got fired I could collect unemployment and drive up and down the tri-state area applying for jobs and going to interviews, all the while getting paid. Having a job makes it hard to get a job.

As for me, my depression seems to be coming back. I mean, it never really went away per se, but the job situation doesn't help any. I feel unmotivated. I feel trapped. I remember days when I couldn't wait to get to work and didn't want to go home at the end of the day. I was innovating, making cool stuff from scratch. Now I'm hard-pressed to do anything but straight HTML/CSS. I guess that's life though, eh?

I do want to tell you guys that your comments make it all worthwhile. I love that people care enough to read what I write, no matter how bitchy and annoying I may sound. Thanks for the comments, they mean a lot.