What happens when you get old

A few months ago my grandmother's health began to decline. My mom hopped on a flight last week. She feared it may be the last time she saw my grandmother alive and it's been 2-3 years since they last saw each other. It seems she took a turn for the worse and now my aunt will be flying out. I have to drive her to the airport. Her flight leaves at 7 so we need to be there a few hours before then.

Tonight won't be fun. Not sure if I'll even go to work tomorrow. Maybe I'll go late after a decent bit of rest. I told them today that I wasn't sure if I'd be coming in tomorrow. We'll see how this goes.

When I was young (about 5-6) I had such a fear of getting old and dying. I would cry and come up with theories on how to beat death. I thought you didn't die until you hit the floor. I remember thinking that if I held on to something I wouldn't fall, thus not dying.

I'd rather not think about death and it's inevitability. I'd rather think about life and its inconceivable complexity.